Self Awareness
When we see something we don’t immediately like in ourselves, our first reaction could be to defend ourselves from it, which is partly why self-awareness is so challenging.
Mindlor
By
Let's take a brief trip through time to, say, the year 1100.
We're making a list of qualities we consider to be indisputably admirable in a friend, lover, coworker, or family member while seated at our wooden bench with our goose quill.
What items might we include on this vintage list? Probably phrases like "patient," "kind," "loyal," and "kind," to name a few.
Let's go back to the present moment now. We're currently typing that list while seated (or standing) at our desk. We would presumably write down the same virtues that we did in 1100, but we might also include some rather fresh ideas.
I would definitely include "self-aware" as a trait of a person I'd want in my life — and a quality of a person I'd like to be — on my list.
‘Self-awareness’ centers on recognizing and managing our emotions
According to clinical psychologist and author John Duffy, the phrase "self-awareness" certainly originated with Freud and Jung, but in contemporary usage, it reemerged about the time Daniel Goleman wrote "Emotional Intelligence" nearly two decades ago.
Self-awareness, according to Duffy, is essentially the ability to recognize one's own emotional condition at any given time. The argument makes the case that we are, far too frequently, completely ignorant of our current emotional state and the extent to which it affects our actions and way of thinking. We are better equipped to control these other aspects of our lives to the extent that we can control our emotional states.
Marriage and family therapist Amy McManus continues, "Self-awareness is [also] the ability to look at your own words and actions from a perspective outside of yourself; to see yourself as others see you."
In this way, we can see how self-awareness is a form of introspection that invites the outside world in for comparison with one's own emotions and actions rather than shutting it out. Katie Krimer, a clinical social worker with a license, defines it as requiring "meta-cognition: the ability to think about thinking [and] implies the ability to recognize ourselves as we see ourselves, but also to understand how others may view us based on what we know about human behavior."
We tend to think we’re self-aware — when we’re not
I can't tell you how many times I've written individuals off as "not self-aware"—most notably, ex-boyfriends. I say this with the impression that I have a ton of metacognitive capacity.
I might be exaggerating how self-aware I am; after all, many of us are.
According to Tara Well, an associate professor of psychology at Barnard College, "Social scientists have found that people frequently grossly overestimate their level of self-awareness."
Many people "feel that they know and understand themselves much better than they actually do," continues Krimer. Because developing self-awareness requires looking at oneself as honestly as possible, which can frequently elicit difficult-to-manage feelings of shame, they may have even avoided doing so.
Self-awareness is a vital skill in a fulfilling life
In any case, developing self-awareness is a crucial skill.
The need for self-awareness is becoming more and more crucial, according to Well. "In the past, [lack of self-awareness] might have been written off as a benign human quirk," she says. "Self-awareness may be the most important trait we possess to meet the challenges of the future."
If you can control your own emotions, Duffy continues, you are probably able to have an effect on the emotional climate in a family, at work, or in social situations. Therefore, self-awareness can be very helpful in leading a more conscious, fulfilled life.
Here are some tips to cultivate self-awareness
Following are some tips from mental health professionals if you want to develop or improve your self-awareness:
1. Be curious about who you are
According to Ana Jovanovic, a psychologist and life coach at Parenting Pod, "To be self-aware, a person needs to be curious about themselves." "Our thoughts and bodies are uncharted territory for which we still require travel guides. Every person has certain paths they do not want to travel down and certain paths they think are worthwhile pursuing. What you're willing to investigate and experience will determine how far you progress in your quest to understand yourself.
2. Let your walls down
Self-awareness can be difficult since we often want to defend ourselves when we notice anything about ourselves that we don't instantly like.
Try to suppress your sense of entitlement and your innate need to defend oneself.
"You become self-aware through a willingness to let go of defensiveness, and an openness to seeing yourself in a way that is different from what you have always assumed," explains McManus. "Oftentimes this means you have to be willing to see yourself in a less-than-positive light."
3. Look in the mirror — literally
According to Well's own studies, she instructs people to use mirrors as a meditation tool to help them become more self-aware. "When people first look in the mirror, they are frequently pretty harsh on themselves. I show them how to change their viewpoint and use self-reflection to become more self-aware. This somewhat resembles face-to-face talks that require attentive listening and being fully present with another person. They learn to track their attention and emotions and acquire fresh insights into how their thoughts are influencing them in the moment.
4. Keep a journal and note what triggers positive feelings
"Journaling is a great way to start this process of being mindful," asserts Celeste Viciere, a qualified mental health counselor. "As you write in your journal, consider your day. Inquire about your feelings. Consider what triggers may have brought up any bad emotions you may be carrying from the day. Consider what may have caused you to feel joyful if you are experiencing any pleasant emotions.
