When Taking Risks in Life Doesn’t Pay Off

Attempts at risk-taking in life don't always succeed. Lauren and I truly mulled over our alternatives when I was ready to depart the Steelers in 1988. Two coaches who went on to become Hall of Famers—Bill Parcels of the Giants and Bill Walsh of the 49ers—offered me jobs in the same offseason. Marty Schottenheimer in Kansas City and Sam Wyche in Cincinnati were also great interviewees. Each of the four men was an excellent coach and a nice person. I was familiar with both Bill Walsh and Sam Wyche from my time in San Francisco as coaches, so I felt at ease with any of them. It was every defensive coach's fantasy to sit in a room and discuss football philosophy with Bill Parcels, Bill Belichick, and Romeo Crennel, especially since Bill had just won his first Super Bowl.

Unfortunately, Lauren and I were planning to raise a family at the time, and we felt that navigating the complexities of both New York and San Francisco would be too much. Because the position in Cincinnati was not extended to me, we were forced to hire Marty Schottenheimer in Kansas City. What I learned and the reasons it failed are these.

There is no safe path.

Kansas City has an excellent standard of living and would have been an ideal location to establish a family. My reasons for wanting to leave the Chiefs after three years were less related to my work with the team and more personal. Both the 49ers and the Giants had already won Super Bowls by this point. There is no easy way through life; I might have easily second-guessed my decision. The finest information we have allows us to make decisions, yet sometimes it feels like we're still in the dark.

Discern and make your decision.

My takeaway is to get all the facts you can right now, talk to God about it, make a choice, and then move on. Though I do try to avoid making the same mistakes twice, I never go back and regret a decision I've already made. It produces no results. Despite our loss in the Super Bowl, I still benefit greatly from the experiences I had and the connections I made in Kansas City.

Learn, but don’t second guess.

If you can't turn back the clock on previous choices, it's better to ride it out, take it easy, and make the most of your current situation. While some of your choices will turn out well, others will backfire spectacularly. The fact that no team can win every game is a valuable lesson I picked up from sports. And it's possible to win championships while suffering setbacks. We won in my book nonetheless since we left the safety net behind and are now playing the game of life to the fullest.

Stand on your convictions.

People will question your choices from time to time, particularly if they disagree with your worldview. A lot of people think that you should always take a promotion when offered one, regardless of whether it's for financial or social reasons. Some may accuse you of being irresponsible if you are a father who refuses a promotion or resigns from your job due to your lack of involvement at home or the fact that you live in an unsuitable area for raising children. Ignore what they say. Stand firm in your beliefs. Stand out.