How to Be Spontaneous in Your Relationship

Altering your usual routine together is an important component of being spontaneous. It's possible you'll decide to do something novel or out of the ordinary. Spontaneous actions provide spice to interpersonal connections.

For some, the idea of acting on the spur of the moment is terrifying. People who worry too much about failure often avoid trying new things. It may be unsettling to try something new with your partner if you and they usually watch TV after supper. It could feel like you're giving up your safety net.

Others worry that any kind of shift could lead to a loss of power. If you and your partner have a tradition of spending the summer with relatives in the south, it can be unsettling to offer a road trip via Route 66. You may be concerned that if you try something different in July, your significant other will not want to travel with you to see your family next summer.

Overcoming Mental Spontaneity Blocks

Let's look at some of the concerns that can keep you from introducing more spontaneity into your relationship.

Don't Be Afraid of Rejection

Say you've been dating your significant other for a while. You feel like the relationship between the two of you is growing stale and distant. To be perfectly frank, you are bored. However, putting up an original idea seems dangerous.

To spice things up, perhaps you might suggest a weekend in the mountains without the kids. But you're scared. What if your significant other is totally against this? You are aware of your tendency to appease others or avoid confrontation. Or you've always been the one to "go along to get along" in your relationship.

"If you and your partner always do the same things, it can get boring and keep a natural distance between you. According to psychologist Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD., "by taking the lead in trying something new together, you set the stage for a whole new dynamic and way of connecting with one another."

Work on Being More Vulnerable

Constant squabbling can be stressful for people who are in a relationship where there are frequent disagreements. If you and your significant other have been arguing all morning, you probably won't be in the mood to suggest a spontaneous picnic on a sunny Saturday.

Those who aren't afraid of voicing their opinions and picking fights, as well as those who are, may be hesitant to propose unusual date ideas. Or, they may surprise their lover by having lunch at their workplace.

Those who struggle to form strong bonds with others may shy away from conflict. They may be doubting that their partners truly care for them. They are afraid to be spontaneous and risk upsetting the status quo. They don't want to be so exposed.

Be More Confident

Self-assurance allows one to move on with conviction and ease. You don't let doubts, arguments, or dogmatism hold you back.

It can be hard to inject spontaneity into a relationship if neither partner has complete faith in the other. Those who fear embarrassing themselves may also be concerned about how others perceive them. If you're confident in yourself, you'll be more open to trying new things.

Stop Ruminating

Over-ruminators tend to overthink situations or dwell on the past with an unhealthy fixation on negativity. Because of this, you may be unable to advance in your job or take your relationship to the next level.

Thinking on everything that could have gone wrong in the past can make you reluctant to change or try anything new. This implies that instead of trying a new sex position with the wonderful person you've been dating for a year, you'll suggest going out for a cappuccino at your local café.

Minimize Your Anxiety

Anxiety affects more than 40 million adults in the United States.Anxious people have trouble being creative and innovative. For their anniversary, for instance, they have likely gone through the finer points of the evening, such as what to wear and what to order, multiple times.

Those who suffer from anxiety may find it challenging to change their plans if their significant other suggests they go to the same restaurant where they had their first date.

More Intimacy May Increase Spontaneity

Being spontaneous in a relationship is a great way to strengthen the bond between you and your partner. For instance, you could make the spontaneous decision to start sexual activity. If you and your lover usually save your intimate time for the weekend, try surprising each other on a Tuesday afternoon instead. Get permission and respect people's space, of course.

Sexual intimacy is characterized by warmth, closeness, and bonding. Sex and close relationships go hand in hand. According to the findings of a recent study3 on male-female relationships, arousal for sexual activity increases with the degree of closeness between the partners.

Rekindle your passion by trying something new and shaking up your sexual routine. It's a welcome diversion that helps us reflect on our relationships with one another. It's a tried-and-true method for enhancing interpersonal bonds.