When to Intervene in Your Child’s Friendships

My daughter had a bossy classmate in third grade who dictated her every move, from what to wear to what to do, and would resort to isolating herself from the other girls if my daughter dared to disagree. Seeing it all as a parent was really tough. It was in my blood to confront the girl's mother about her daughter's abuse of mine. My daughter needs to get past this on her own or she might wind up with an aggressive and domineering spouse, and I was holding the phone when I realized it. Together, we discussed the scenario and her options for navigating third grade's social order. She managed to overcome it in the end. The ability to assert herself and reject the girl's control over her was a skill she honed. They became very close over time, and she eventually wed a wonderful man who is very good to her.

When you have children, it's natural to want to shield them from the painful memories of your own life. It may be required of you to step in and help them at times. However, there are instances when it's more effective to act as a mentor in the corner, advising them on how to handle toxic companions. The way kids engage with others in their formative years shapes their social skills for the rest of their lives. They should know how to interact with a wide variety of people. As a parent, you may set a good example by teaching your child these relational skills.

1. Work side-by-side with your kids.

"What are some ideas to handle this person?" is an example of a question you might ask.  "When they're nasty, what are your options?" Would you be able to discuss this with the instructor? Tell them what you did when faced with a similar issue. Consider their plight with compassion. Find out if they would like your assistance.

2. Give them a chance to work through their problems.

You should let them try to put their strategy into action once they've done so. On a regular basis, inquire as to the progress of the plan. If it's succeeding, they should rejoice. Provide fresh suggestions or assist in coming up with a different approach if it isn't working.

3. Have regular conversations regarding their friends.

Discover more about them by inquiring. Come over and play with them. Be sure to observe how they engage with these companions. When they're around them, does your child behave differently than usual? If that's the case, talk to your kid about what you noticed when the friend goes. Motivate your youngster to explain their actions to you. You can assist your child understand the impact that person has on them by having conversations like these.

4. Take your child and their friends on outings.

Meet their needs. The way you engage with their friends can tell you a lot about their personality and actions. Also, you never know when you could get a chance to make a positive impact on that child's life.

5. Keep an eye on your child’s behaviors.

You might have to step in if their behavior suddenly changes drastically. The parent or guardian of the student may need to be consulted. Your youngster may require your support in processing the realization that this friend is harmful to them.