Unrequited Love—What to Do When Love Is One-Sided

Having intense romantic affections for someone who does not return those sentiments is an example of unrequited love. It's a one-sided event that can leave victims feeling hurt, betrayed, and humiliated.

It's not always easy to discern if your feelings for someone are returned, and that may lead to a lot of uncertainty and heartache. Discover the warning signs and effective responses.

Signs of Unrequited Love

If you want to know if the feelings you have for someone are being returned, there are indicators you may look for. Unrequited love can make a person feel as though they are receiving "mixed signals" from a romantic interest.

You Reach Out to Connect

Is it only you who is trying to have a conversation? Do you always seem to be the only one calling or texting to see how the other person is doing or if anything significant has happened to them recently?

It may be an indication that your love is unrequited if you are the only one making the effort to connect with the other person, follow up on things, or ask about their life.

You Long for Physical Touch

Do you long to make physical contact with the other person, perhaps by kissing or hugging them? When two people are mutually attracted to one another and long for physical intimacy, they both want to connect with one another in a sexual way.

One indicator of unrequited longing is when you feel that you have to be the one to initiate physical contact, or when your attempts to connect with another person are met with hostility or withdrawal.

You Put the Person on a Pedestal

Unrequited love often occurs when one person idolizes the other. The object of affection is seen as nearly flawless, and any flaws are rationalized away. In cases of unrequited love, healthy boundaries are rarely established.

In a strong romantic relationship, each partner is aware of and accepts the other's weaknesses and flaws. When two individuals are in a healthy relationship, each has room to make errors and learn from them.

Possible Reasons for Unrequited Love

The other person's emotions have more to do with themselves than with you, yet your reaction to their sentiments may be the result of internal struggles.

Having romanticized that person in your head can make it easier to love them. You have formed an attachment to your idealized picture of them, rather than seeing them as a whole person who may have negative qualities.

It could be as simple as wanting someone they know they can't have for some people. One of its selling points is that it is impossible to form a real bond with the other person. Being in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you can help someone with an insecure attachment type avoid having to form any other meaningful relationships.

How to Heal the Heartbreak

Getting over the pain of an unrequited love is possible through a variety of means. Even while it may seem unattainable right now, especially when you start the healing process, please know that healing is possible and will take time.

Take Time to Grieve

It's crucial to give yourself time to mourn. Many people have been in your shoes and experienced the heartbreak of having their feelings for another person go unrequited.

Refute the voices in your head that tell you there's anything wrong with you or that you're not good enough. Not being loved back can happen for many different reasons that have nothing to do with whether or not you are "enough."

Stay Busy

Rejection hurts, but getting over it is difficult if you keep thinking about it over and over again. You shouldn't shut out all thought of what's happened, but you should try to keep yourself busy so that you don't have time to concentrate on the negative.

Hang out with people who have your back. As time passes, you'll feel less discomfort and be in a better position to reflect on the experience objectively.

Understand Patterns

Maybe you've never experienced unrequited love before, or maybe this is a recurring theme in your life. What we learnt, saw, and were taught about love and relationships as children greatly influences how we see and experience them as adults.

A person's attachment style can affect how they form and keep romantic partnerships as adults. Attachment, as defined by renowned psychologist John Bowlby, is a strong emotional link between individuals. Attachment style is most often discussed in the context of parent-child interactions, but studies with adults reveal that it also significantly affects romantic partnerships.