When Is the Appropriate Age to Start Dating?

There is a wide range of ages at which preteens and teenagers begin to show romantic interest in peers. There is a wide range of ages at which children first exhibit an interest in dating, from as early as age 10 to as late as age 12 or 13.

The most important thing for parents to keep in mind is that adolescence is a period of change. At the same time as their physical, emotional, and social development, kids are also beginning to form their own unique identities.1 CDC. Development of Children: Early Adolescence (12–14).

 It's only normal that your tween will start to show interest in dating as they discover what that means for themselves.

How Young is Too Young to Date?

Children mature at different rates and may begin dating at various ages. Teens and preteens may begin to explore romantic interests during the onset of puberty. They may, however, feel pressured by their friends to date for the wrong reasons, namely to gain social approval. When determining whether or not to allow dating for your child, it's important to consider where they are in their development.

It's good to start talking about tween dating by describing what it is and when tweens typically begin dating. The American Academy of Paediatrics (AAP) reports that girls can start dating as early as 12 and a half, and boys at 13 and a half, but that dating doesn't start when parents expect it to.2

Tweens typically engage in group dating, which is going to the movies, the mall, the park, the beach, or other comparable locations with a group of friends rather than pairing off individually like teens do. Group dating should not be confused with double dating or triple dating, the AAP stresses. While there may be a few attached couples in a group of people who are dating, most of them are single.

How to Set Guidelines

If you're okay with your tween participating in group dating, then you should set some ground rules. Discuss what kind of conduct is expected of them when they are out, as well as the hours they are permitted to be out and the times they must return home. When children are permitted to venture out in groups, some parents insist on adult supervision.

Should You Be Concerned?

As a parent, hearing their tween use the term "dating" to describe their relationship with another person can be shocking at first. However, developing romantic feelings for another person is a natural part of maturing.

Your child goes through a lot of changes during the tween years. In addition to the physical changes that occur with puberty, individuals may also discover new hobbies, alter their sense of style, and make brand new friends.1

Partnering With Your Tween

It's also crucial that preteens have access to resources that encourage self-determination by providing guidance on how to establish limitations, expectations, and boundaries in romantic relationships. Involve your tween by talking about your own dating experiences and playing pretend if he or she is ready. So that they don't let false information influence them, it's crucial that they gain self-assurance in dating throughout these formative years.

If the group date doesn't go as planned, make sure they have a plan B. They must have a plan in place for when they feel threatened or dissatisfied with the group's direction.

What to Avoid

It's natural to be taken aback by your tween's sudden interest in dating, but it's important to take it seriously and use it as a chance to have a serious conversation about important problems related to dating.

Pick your words carefully, even if you're slightly panicking. It's important to watch what you say so as not to have any regrets down the road. You shouldn't, for example, refer to their romance as a "infatuation," "puppy love," or "young love."

How to Handle Breakups

Some tween romances have staying power, despite the fact that most do not. Twenty percent of 12-14-year-olds in one research were in relationships that lasted 11 months or more.3

For a tween, 11 months is a long time because so much may change in that age group. However, preteen relationships are more likely to lack depth and won't continue as long as those formed at a later age.