Tips for Dating After Divorce

Dating as a single parent is a stressful experience. Time for dating is limited, and your children are likely to have strong feelings about who you spend it with. It's not unheard of to have a kid who doesn't like your date, but should it be a deal breaker? Certainly not! If your children strongly disapprove of your partner, there are steps you can take beyond taking things slowly and listening to your children's input.

When Your Kids Hate Your Partner

There are several ways in which your child may show disapproval of your spouse. It could be subtle, like ignoring or being passive aggressive towards your partner, or overt, like being angry and hostile. Your children may act distant, rude, and disrespectful towards your partner.

This disagreement could become a barrier in your relationship depending on how your partner reacts. If your child is acting out or avoiding you and your partner, it can also make living at home more challenging.

Where to Start

The first step is to figure out what exactly it is about your child's resistance to your new spouse that bothers you so much. For example, if you're worried that your kid isn't interested in meeting your new significant other or developing a bond with them, try showing more compassion and understanding.

They need room and time to adjust to your new relationship, and you can't provide it to them. It's best for everyone if you and your partner are patient and go at your child's pace as they learn to know each other and spend time together.

Determine the Real Issue

Some individuals think you should terminate things immediately if your kid dislikes your new partner. However, it's possible that calling it quits isn't what needs to happen. It's crucial to sort out whether your kid has genuine animosity towards your partner or is just anxious about you dating. Your first step should be to reassure your child that he or she remains your top priority. Ask your child, if they are old enough to understand, why they do not like the person you are dating.

Talk it Over With Your Child

Open lines of communication are the foundation of any successful partnership. If your child is old enough to express their thoughts and feelings, it is important to set aside some one-on-one time to talk about how they feel about your new partner.

Having meaningful talks with your child shows that you value your relationship with them and gives them a chance to express themselves. Start by inquiring if there is anything you can do to ease your youngster into the new environment. Ask them what they like and dislike about your new significant other.

Encourage them to ask you questions.

Get them to feel comfortable asking you questions. People may wonder why you're dating again and what they have to offer you. Or perhaps they're just curious as to why the newcomer smells so strong. A child's mind works in mysterious ways. Therefore, make it so kids feel safe expressing any question that comes to mind.

Give your child some control.

Let your kid have some say in things. A child's world might be thrown into disarray when they start dating because so much of their life is out of their hands. Give them some control over when and how much time they spend with your boo to ease the transition. A group outing to the zoo, a bike ride, or a movie could be suggested as possible activities. Instead of making a decision and then publicising it, involve them in the process.

Empower your child to establish boundaries.

That is, give them some leeway if they express distaste for your new significant other being there at their soccer game or receiving a hug. Trust is a slow process. Even if you're completely smitten with your new flame, your kid might not feel the same way. Don't rush them while they're still getting to know this new person.

Share what you like about your new partner.

Tell your new sweetheart what you appreciate about them. Let your children in on your dating criteria, and give specific examples of how your new spouse embodies those criteria. If you'd like, you can even give specific examples. Simply pointing out something to your child can be enough to start a shift in their thinking.

Help Your Child Feel Included

Your child's anger may result from their perception that they are being replaced or excluded. Any work you can put into mending those wounds will provide huge dividends in the form of the peace you seek.

If you want your child and your new partner to feel comfortable around one another, try setting up some neutral activities for them to do together. Get them out of the house and doing something enjoyable together, and observe the effect that sharing a playful experience has on their bond.

Enlist Your Ex If Possible

It can be useful to enlist your ex-partner's assistance if your relationship with them is amicable. If you and your ex have a solid co-parenting relationship, you may be able to discuss your child's emotions and actions with each other.

When one parent marries again, the child may detest the new partner as a method of "siding" with the old parent. The other parent may be able to convince the kid that they're glad for you and not bitter if they have a conversation with the kid and express their approval of your new relationship. Your new babysitter can reassure your child that they will not be replaced.